'Pull yourself together' is seldom said to anyone who can.
A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners.
A critic can only review the book he has read, not the one which the writer wrote.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.
As we are human, we can't do what we can't do; as we're neurotic, we can't do what we can.
Being neurotic is like shooting fish in a barrel, and missing them.
Children lack morality, but they also lack fake morality.
Despair is anger with no place to go.
Don't be yourself, be someone a little nicer.
Even cowards can endure hardship; only the brave can endure suspense.
Every group feels strong once it has found a scapegoat.
Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers.
Everybody can write; writers can't do anything else.
If you are brave too often, people will come to expect it of you.
If you can tell anyone about it, it's not the worst thing you ever did.
If you hate your lot but wouldn't trade it, it's not your lot you hate.
If you have to do it every day, for God’s sake learn to do it well.
In every group of intimidated people, each thinks 'I will rebel,' but each waits for the others.
It does not undo harm to acknowledge that we have done it; but it undoes us not to acknowledge it.
It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.
It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily.
It's the most unhappy people who most fear change.
It’s easier to part with a friend than an opinion.
Life's most painful condition: to be almost a celebrity.
Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and difficult as that.
Many are saved from sin by being so inept at it.
Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls.
Money is the best counterfeit money.
Most of us would rather risk catastrophe than read the directions.
Neurotics expect you to remember all the things that they tell you, and many that they don't.
No matter how brilliantly an idea is stated, we will not really be moved unless we have already half thought of it ourselves.
Nobody really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
One of life's few really reliable pleasures: to have a family you love, and to leave them for a week.
Our strength is often composed of the weakness that we're damned if we're going to show.
The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.
The fear of being laughed at makes cowards of us all.
The know-nothings are, unfortunately, seldom the do-nothings.
The neurotic always wishes people would let him alone--until they do.
The neurotic has perfect vision in one eye, but he cannot remember which.
The poor have the same basic pleasures as the rich, and the rich will always resent it.
The proud man can learn humility, but he will be proud of it.
The time to begin most things is ten years ago.
The total history of almost anyone would shock almost everyone.
The young are generally full of revolt, and are often pretty revolting about it.
There are children born to be children, and others who must mark time till they can take their natural places as adults.
Those who turn to God for comfort may find comfort but I do not think they will find God.
We are all born brave, trusting, and greedy, and most of us manage to remain greedy.
We have to call it ‘freedom.’ Who'd die for ‘a lesser tyranny?’
We hear only half of what is said to us, understand only half of that, believe only half of that, and remember only half of that.
We work for praise, and dawdle once we have it.
Whatever we worship, short of God, is sure to be our undoing.
When suffering comes, we yearn for some sign from God, forgetting that we have just had one.
When threatened, the first thing a democracy gives up is democracy.
When we first fall in love, we feel that we know all there is to know about life, and perhaps we are right.